I figured I need to get in here and write SOMETHING...anything before I decide to never return. Which I am sure many of my "regular" readers have done...given up on me. But, No! I will be back and blogging pretty darn soon. Work has taken a much more "normal" schedule and school is almost out for the boys. THANK GOD!! I am so ready for them to be on summer vacation. I am one of those "weird" moms that loves them to be home with me. I am sick of permission slips, homework checks, notes from teachers, trips to school, and just about every damn thing that is related to school. Enough!
So I didn't go away and forget you, oh Blogsphere! I am planning my return. I swear. Really this time. No. I mean it. Really.
You are just gonna have to check back and see. ;-)
Monday, May 11, 2009
Monday, March 23, 2009
Quite a bit
Yup, quite a bit off my "game". My writing is not coming easily like it used to, my brain is all jumbled and I can't quite seem to sort it out into a cohesive paragraph.
It happens. Often. I think of all the things I wanna say and just can't get it out. Plus, I have so many things I wanna share about work, but I have to do it in a generic and safe way as to not be too specific with patients or situations. After I try to figure out what to say, how to say it, and all that crap...my brain hurts and it seems too difficult to even bother. Some medical bloggers do it with such ease, but try as I might I struggle with it. And God, are there some interesting things going on at work. Every day I am amazed or amused or shocked by the patients or their families. I need to work on my medical story telling. I just have to figure out how to protect myself and them. It will be a work in progress.
And we are in this limbo place with Sammy. We are towards the end in the process of diagnosing his issues and once that happens then the work of finding things that will work with him in school. At home, he is really fine and not a problem at all. At school, when his anxiety is at panic level, he just will not get any work done. Either he won't or can't calm his "school brain", as he puts it. It seems as though we are heading to a diagnosis of Asperger's, but at this point I don't care what we call it. I just want my child to not hate school every day. A small thing to ask, I think. He is an absolute joy in my life and I just want to do what is best for him. The task seems exhausting, but I know it is doable. We have some amazing people helping us, both at school and privately.
In other news, my cousin had her baby. For the record I was right..a boy. I have my flight booked for Colorado in April to fly out there and meet the little man and spend some MUCH needed quality cousin time. My best friend had her baby too. And I was right about that too..a girl. I have gotten to cuddle her a few times already.
Ack. so between the dentist ( for Josh), the doctors and school visits for Sam, work, life in general and all the other assorted crap I do, I guess I am tapped out. Not to mention with the change in season, which plunges me into melancholia. Recipe for non-writing. But I am working on it. I need to add some pictures and share all kinds of insanity with the blog-sphere. Today, I was so messed up schedule-wise that I showed up to work when I was not working until tomorrow. I swear it is impossible to keep my life straight these days. I have not done that in 15 years of working there. Pray for me. :D
It happens. Often. I think of all the things I wanna say and just can't get it out. Plus, I have so many things I wanna share about work, but I have to do it in a generic and safe way as to not be too specific with patients or situations. After I try to figure out what to say, how to say it, and all that crap...my brain hurts and it seems too difficult to even bother. Some medical bloggers do it with such ease, but try as I might I struggle with it. And God, are there some interesting things going on at work. Every day I am amazed or amused or shocked by the patients or their families. I need to work on my medical story telling. I just have to figure out how to protect myself and them. It will be a work in progress.
And we are in this limbo place with Sammy. We are towards the end in the process of diagnosing his issues and once that happens then the work of finding things that will work with him in school. At home, he is really fine and not a problem at all. At school, when his anxiety is at panic level, he just will not get any work done. Either he won't or can't calm his "school brain", as he puts it. It seems as though we are heading to a diagnosis of Asperger's, but at this point I don't care what we call it. I just want my child to not hate school every day. A small thing to ask, I think. He is an absolute joy in my life and I just want to do what is best for him. The task seems exhausting, but I know it is doable. We have some amazing people helping us, both at school and privately.
In other news, my cousin had her baby. For the record I was right..a boy. I have my flight booked for Colorado in April to fly out there and meet the little man and spend some MUCH needed quality cousin time. My best friend had her baby too. And I was right about that too..a girl. I have gotten to cuddle her a few times already.
Ack. so between the dentist ( for Josh), the doctors and school visits for Sam, work, life in general and all the other assorted crap I do, I guess I am tapped out. Not to mention with the change in season, which plunges me into melancholia. Recipe for non-writing. But I am working on it. I need to add some pictures and share all kinds of insanity with the blog-sphere. Today, I was so messed up schedule-wise that I showed up to work when I was not working until tomorrow. I swear it is impossible to keep my life straight these days. I have not done that in 15 years of working there. Pray for me. :D
Sunday, March 22, 2009
excuses, excuses
Ohh, do I have piles of excuses. Tons. But you don't wanna hear that crap. You just want me to get on with it. I am sure many of you thought I fell off the face of the earth. Not true. I might have wanted to, but I am still here. Damn gravity.
So I thought I would jot down a funny little conversation from my favorite little funny man, Sam. That kid cracks me up like no other.
So we are waiting for an appointment and he asks me if I know the difference between fiction and non-fiction. He tells me he prefers non-fiction books and we talk about some of the interesting titles he as been bringing home from school. What kindergarten kid do you know that reads a book on the origins of the Pony Express? He LOVED that book.
Anyway, Sam says to me, "I know what fiction is. Fiction is that bears wear ties. That is all fiction"
and that made me laugh. Not only does he get it, he has an example. Too smart for his own damn good, that alien child of mine.
So I thought I would jot down a funny little conversation from my favorite little funny man, Sam. That kid cracks me up like no other.
So we are waiting for an appointment and he asks me if I know the difference between fiction and non-fiction. He tells me he prefers non-fiction books and we talk about some of the interesting titles he as been bringing home from school. What kindergarten kid do you know that reads a book on the origins of the Pony Express? He LOVED that book.
Anyway, Sam says to me, "I know what fiction is. Fiction is that bears wear ties. That is all fiction"
and that made me laugh. Not only does he get it, he has an example. Too smart for his own damn good, that alien child of mine.
Saturday, February 7, 2009
Cousin Lovin'
Obviously, when I sit to write this I have something on my mind. Since my mind flutters around with my adult onset ADD, it is often hard for me to find a starting point or to really narrow it down. Not this week though, someone has been on my mind quite a bit and I really think I need to write about her...my cousin Molly. She is closest to my age of all my cousins and closest to my heart in many ways too. I miss her every. single. day. Honestly, I do. I hear her voice and I am happy. I feel comfortable and safe. I feel like I can just tell her anything and everything and I know she understands. She even gets the things I don't say. I trust her like I would never trust anyone in my life. I have to, she can look at me and know me without me saying a word. Everyone needs that person. Everyone needs a "Molly"
I once took a good long time to figure out what I wanted to say about her. I was going through picture and got together a collection of them to share with her. And I tried to sum up my feelings about Molly. Really, nothing is going to sum it all up. Not ever. Here is the bit I wrote about us and the digital layout I made with some pictures of us over the years. As she waits to greet her new baby to the world, I thought this would be a great time to share it with the world...my "baby" so to speak. I am excited and so happy there will be more Molly in this world. That can only be a good thing. You are gonna have to trust me on that people.
So here it is...
Hey there cuz, for as long as I can remember we have been such an important part of each other life. We have shared a bedroom, many secrets, a quirky High School Drama club, a crazy extended family and our lives.
Our lives could not have been more different...I have not left Buffalo for more than a vacation, you have lived all over the world
I married my high school sweetheart and had 3 children, you are more the Bohemian, waiting to see where life will lead you.
We both admire the lives each other have chosen, while loving the life dealt us. I love that I can tell you anything.(remember when you were 20 and I was 18, you told me in secret you had a tattoo and I told you I was pregnant. hahah I WON!)
I know that I will always have you out there somewhere and that makes me feel good and makes me smile.You are always my biggest cheerleader and I am yours.
When that picture of us was taken my father laughed, he said that whenever
you and I are together we are little girls again. I love that we share all that history. I know you by heart and you know me by yours.
Love you, Molly!
I can't wait to see her again and welcome her baby into the world. ( for the record...I think it is a boy...but what do I know?) I hope she realizes I am coming out to see her at some point. She is only a plane ride away and I have some baby lovin' to get to.
I love you, Molly. You may never know how much.
I once took a good long time to figure out what I wanted to say about her. I was going through picture and got together a collection of them to share with her. And I tried to sum up my feelings about Molly. Really, nothing is going to sum it all up. Not ever. Here is the bit I wrote about us and the digital layout I made with some pictures of us over the years. As she waits to greet her new baby to the world, I thought this would be a great time to share it with the world...my "baby" so to speak. I am excited and so happy there will be more Molly in this world. That can only be a good thing. You are gonna have to trust me on that people.
So here it is...
Hey there cuz, for as long as I can remember we have been such an important part of each other life. We have shared a bedroom, many secrets, a quirky High School Drama club, a crazy extended family and our lives.
Our lives could not have been more different...I have not left Buffalo for more than a vacation, you have lived all over the world
I married my high school sweetheart and had 3 children, you are more the Bohemian, waiting to see where life will lead you.
We both admire the lives each other have chosen, while loving the life dealt us. I love that I can tell you anything.(remember when you were 20 and I was 18, you told me in secret you had a tattoo and I told you I was pregnant. hahah I WON!)
I know that I will always have you out there somewhere and that makes me feel good and makes me smile.You are always my biggest cheerleader and I am yours.
When that picture of us was taken my father laughed, he said that whenever
you and I are together we are little girls again. I love that we share all that history. I know you by heart and you know me by yours.
Love you, Molly!
I can't wait to see her again and welcome her baby into the world. ( for the record...I think it is a boy...but what do I know?) I hope she realizes I am coming out to see her at some point. She is only a plane ride away and I have some baby lovin' to get to.
I love you, Molly. You may never know how much.
Thursday, January 29, 2009
The Return ( I hope)
So, here I am trying to wiggle my way back into the blogging world after some much needed downtime and some much unneeded stress. Who are we kidding? I love stress. I thrive on it. I picked to work on a very unpredictable and stressful floor at the hospital, for God's sake. If I didn't do well with stress, I would have flipped my nut long ago. Those external forces pushing on me hold me together to a degree. Sometime I wish they would not push so hard and so often, but I can't control much of anything right now.
Part of why I haven't written anything is because I was( am) in some sort of creative slump. Christmas tends to soak up so much of my time and talents that it leaves little for anything else. And once that hub-bub is over, I just want to let my brains cool down a bit before I start making demands on them again.
Another thing is that so much of what is happening, say with Sammy, is up in the air. That makes it hard to write about as well. What can I say when I am not sure what point we are in in the process?
And really, if I force myself to sit here and write, it will end up being horrible. I must say that NEVER in my life have I had a lack of material to write about, but my mind is easily diverted. I blame my job for this. I have to walk around for 13 hrs with hundreds of bits of info about two patients, much of which is critical for their well-being, and then I have to dump that info out and get a new batch the next shift for two other people. So my brain is in a constant turn-over.
Ah, enough with the excuses, right?
Let's see...Sammy is back in full day school. Seems he was actually worse on those half days. Refusing to do any work in school and acting out more than usual. Not sure what was going with that weirdness. We talked to the teacher and we decided to send him back full time after the Thanksgiving break. The first week went incredibly well and I thought maybe I over reacted with the whole anxiety about school thing. WRONG! it slowly slid downhill from there. He has decent and horrible days. I can NEVER predict them. He can leave the house miserable and have a fine day. He can skip out the door happily and he has a terrible day. Total crap shoot. He has more testing to go through and I am just riding it out. Nothing more I can do. One thing they want to do is to advance IQ test him. That should be interesting. He told me the other day it was too bright outside for him due to solar flares. I swear, he wears me out.
Work has been weird. I am flip-flopping from days to nights. I am getting too old for such things. Though, God forbid, I am forced to choose one shift. I love each of them for certain things and hate each of them for others. Day shift has a pretty big group of new nurses and though I TOTALLY do not mind helping any of them it can be stressful. I was new once too. ( a long,long time ago. sigh) But, it can be stressful. I swear the other day my name was said no less than 1000 times. By 7pm I was crazed. They are all excellent nurses, just very nervous. And they should be. One mistake can mean life or death. That is no exaggeration. Sometimes it is easier to slip into a night shift and just ride it out for 13 hours. Truth be told, I love that complete exhaustion feeling. Falling into bed and knowing I am going to get some incredible, deep sleep. Since sleep is such an issue for me I have to go with what works.
I have quite a few blog articles in my drafts. I suppose I really need to work on completing things. Hmmm...maybe my goal for 2009. Might help lift me from my winter crud.
Oh well. I will try to be better. I am a work in progress. Aren't we all.
Part of why I haven't written anything is because I was( am) in some sort of creative slump. Christmas tends to soak up so much of my time and talents that it leaves little for anything else. And once that hub-bub is over, I just want to let my brains cool down a bit before I start making demands on them again.
Another thing is that so much of what is happening, say with Sammy, is up in the air. That makes it hard to write about as well. What can I say when I am not sure what point we are in in the process?
And really, if I force myself to sit here and write, it will end up being horrible. I must say that NEVER in my life have I had a lack of material to write about, but my mind is easily diverted. I blame my job for this. I have to walk around for 13 hrs with hundreds of bits of info about two patients, much of which is critical for their well-being, and then I have to dump that info out and get a new batch the next shift for two other people. So my brain is in a constant turn-over.
Ah, enough with the excuses, right?
Let's see...Sammy is back in full day school. Seems he was actually worse on those half days. Refusing to do any work in school and acting out more than usual. Not sure what was going with that weirdness. We talked to the teacher and we decided to send him back full time after the Thanksgiving break. The first week went incredibly well and I thought maybe I over reacted with the whole anxiety about school thing. WRONG! it slowly slid downhill from there. He has decent and horrible days. I can NEVER predict them. He can leave the house miserable and have a fine day. He can skip out the door happily and he has a terrible day. Total crap shoot. He has more testing to go through and I am just riding it out. Nothing more I can do. One thing they want to do is to advance IQ test him. That should be interesting. He told me the other day it was too bright outside for him due to solar flares. I swear, he wears me out.
Work has been weird. I am flip-flopping from days to nights. I am getting too old for such things. Though, God forbid, I am forced to choose one shift. I love each of them for certain things and hate each of them for others. Day shift has a pretty big group of new nurses and though I TOTALLY do not mind helping any of them it can be stressful. I was new once too. ( a long,long time ago. sigh) But, it can be stressful. I swear the other day my name was said no less than 1000 times. By 7pm I was crazed. They are all excellent nurses, just very nervous. And they should be. One mistake can mean life or death. That is no exaggeration. Sometimes it is easier to slip into a night shift and just ride it out for 13 hours. Truth be told, I love that complete exhaustion feeling. Falling into bed and knowing I am going to get some incredible, deep sleep. Since sleep is such an issue for me I have to go with what works.
I have quite a few blog articles in my drafts. I suppose I really need to work on completing things. Hmmm...maybe my goal for 2009. Might help lift me from my winter crud.
Oh well. I will try to be better. I am a work in progress. Aren't we all.
Saturday, January 3, 2009
What the Hell?
I had to get my butt in here and write something..anything, before y'all think I fell off the face of the earth! I looked back and I can't believe it has been so ling since I wrote anything. Christmas makes me insane and I am recovering still.
I wanted to post a video of my kids from Christmas. Sammy had just about had it when we got to my parents house for our 4th Christmas celebration. I can't blame the kid..I was spent too. I was attempting to get a picture of them in my mother's living room and was able to catch of bit of the REAL Sammy on film.
I wanted to post a video of my kids from Christmas. Sammy had just about had it when we got to my parents house for our 4th Christmas celebration. I can't blame the kid..I was spent too. I was attempting to get a picture of them in my mother's living room and was able to catch of bit of the REAL Sammy on film.
Sunday, December 14, 2008
The Reveal
Since I have myself chained to my computer to finish my Christmas projects, except when I have to go to work, I have gotten quite a few things done. I make myself insane every year with personalized gifts and carefully selected presents. Someday I just want to be okay with buying gift cards for people and get over my need to "wow" people with something special. Maybe in my next life.
One thing I got done was our Christmas card. Though it is not exactly what I wanted, it came out pretty acceptable. They are off for printing and should be here for me to address next Monday. Oh, the joys never end!
Without further ado, the card:
Not too shabby, huh?
Hope you like it! Merry Christmas!!
One thing I got done was our Christmas card. Though it is not exactly what I wanted, it came out pretty acceptable. They are off for printing and should be here for me to address next Monday. Oh, the joys never end!
Without further ado, the card:
Not too shabby, huh?
Hope you like it! Merry Christmas!!
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