Sunday, September 21, 2008

Dear blog, how long has it been?

Quite awhile. I know. The days seem to run into each other and even though I have a thousand things running around my head to type out, I just never seem to get here. And this post will be written in semi-distress. I am getting pretty sick and since I only get sick about twice a year, it really knocks me down when it finally hits. I have that aching hips and shoulders and a head that feels like it will roll off my neck any minute. Yet, can I sleep? No. So here I am, before I talk myself into swallowing NyQuil. That usually takes at least an hour.

Oh, and I have to work another night shift tomorrow. That is just the cherry on top of my week. The night shift thing is really beginning to takes its toll on my body. I have worked it on and off for the last 15 years now and the last few months have really been hard to take.

And then I have happened to have some really over-the-top patients of late. One man told me he didn't think he could bend his arms enough to blow his nose after he had a angiogram. Mister, they didn't do anything to your arms. Good God. Then his equally neurotic wife asked if it would be okay if he were to blow his nose. She would make sure he didn't if it was too much for him..and that was just the first 10 mins of the night. 13 hours of that business has this ICU nurse begging for two sedated and ventilated patients next shift.

And I wish I could come here and report that Sammy is so happy in school and taking to it so well. But that would be a lie. Every.Single.Day is a hassle to get him on the bus. About a half an hour before the bus comes, it starts. He seems totally taken by surprise that he has to go yet again. Monday he told me he had quit. He said "Ummm..I told you on the previous morning that I quit!"

good Lord!

Then Tuesday I was the "ugliest mom ever!" for making him get on the bus. After he got home I asked him if I was still ugly and he proclaimed "You are the prettiest woman I have ever seen! I just didn't want to go to school" Like calling me ugly is going to warm my heart and make me let him stay home? That kid has a lot to learn about finessing a woman.

I am going to start naming my gray hairs "school day #1"..."school day #2" Reminds me to call my hairdresser pronto in the morning.

I have already talked with the teacher about his behavior and adjusting ( or really lack thereof ) once so far. She seems great and willing to work us through this rough time with him. I am also going to work a few days a week in the classroom. I am not sure if that will help or not, but I can only imagine that a kindergarten teacher, with Sammy in her class, can use all the help she can get. His reading level is simply amazing. Every night she gives him a higher level book and the last selection was Volcanoes. Quite in depth stuff for kindergarten.

Zach and Josh seem to like their teachers and things for them at least, are going well. Last Thursday was a fun one for me. Not only did I attempt to sleep after the night shift. Oh I should not complain, I got like a whole 3 hours in that day. Anyway, I get little sleep and the moment the kids got off the bus I was running around town getting Zach's working papers, groceries and all assorted tasks. I got home and just wanted to die a little bit on the couch. Josh looks panicked and tells me that his open house is in about 30 mins. Christ in a cartoon! Up, dressed and out the door for that fun evening.

Then returning home I find out that my great aunt had passed away and that the wake and funeral would be over the next two days. At that point I joked, if one more thing happened to head would ASPOLD! (to quote my beloved Strongbad)

And now, I am getting sick, Ah that mind/body linkage. Fantastic that body human.

I think I just about talked myself into that NyQuil. So I should seize my brave moment and get my body to bed.

Ah, a better and more upbeat post next time. I will try. ;-) At least sickness free, I hope!

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

I am working on him

So while cruising the internet tonight, I stumbled on a site the had the song "Video Killed the Radio Star" playing. Sammy had just heard this song with me in the car as it was on a random playlist in my Zune.

Anyway, the song comes on and I hear Sammy say from behind me "Who killed the Radio Star??"

I say "Video killed the radio star"

"so the guy is named Video?"

"no, it is not about a real person, Sammy"

"So the fake person is named Video and he killed someone?"

"it is not about people at all, Sammy. It is hard to explain to you, but it means tv ruined music"

"well, I think it is about people and the one named Radio is dead. That is a sad song"

While I think the concrete thinking at the age of five is really hilarious, sometimes it can be frustrating. It does however, force me to keep up on the easy explanations of words. I am thinking of writing a thesaurus for 4-6 yr olds.

Personally, I am a fan of this version of the song.

Monday, September 8, 2008

Good Lord! I have to get my stupid ass in here more and write. At any one time I have 15 things I wanna say rolling around in my jumbled head. Wouldn't it be better to get them out there? I am just such a procrastinator, so when I get to writing finally and look the this big white box and think "what the hell can I possibly say that someone will wanna read?" What I have to get over is the fact that every entry doesn't need to be some work of art or profound. I just need to get here and start something and find my voice and thoughts. Oddly, I know that happens every time I actually start writing and yet, I hesitate the start of it. I am clearly insane. Have pity for my family and friends. thank you.

So this week was a hard one for me. My baby started school and I was left alone in the house for the first time...umm, ever. I took this week off from work, which was a good thing and a very bad thing. Work clears my mind. When I am there, taking care of my patients, I am outside of myself. I am part of a bigger picture and whatever is bothering me kinda fades away due to the fact that I am either saving a life, or more often cleaning shit. Yes, shit. It can be mind numbing. Try it for yourself. Get back to me after and let me know if you could think about ANYTHING else in the world other than how much you hate doing what you are doing that moment.

I also have some pretty totally amazing friends there. They understand me. They love me and they listen to me. Like I said before, Molly calls it "paid group therapy"

But this entry is not about them. It is about a friend of mine who was really a life-saver this week and it is not her profession in the career sense. But to me this week, she was just what I needed. My friend Mary put up with my crap all much so that I saw her 4 times this past week and that is not counting my stalker-like running into her in the grocery store tonight. She let me hang out with her so I would not be alone in the house this week, because this was really pretty traumatic for me. She listened to me. She laughed with me. She was just...well she has always been, an amazing friend. And I look at this "negative" of the kids going back to school as maybe being a positive, because I really got to spend some time with my friend. I think it did us both some good.

Mary and I often take the kids on day trips, like the infamous Griffs sculpture park debacle of '06. Our kids get along well and really, it is always fun. Even if you end up pushing a stroller with a toddler up a mountain in 87 degree heat. We can laugh about it now, because we lived to tell the tale.

The last few weeks found us at a few parks in the area that we normally don't travel to, to a theme park, to the Buffalo waterfront and a few places in between..just hanging out and having fun. Get ready for just a few of the hundred pictures I took of our kids. Are they not DAMN cute or what?!?! And please note: you will not see any pictures of Mary here. Or me. I am taking them and Mary threatened me with death if I took any of her. I love her, but I am also a little afraid of her.

Noah and Josh hanging by the creek at Glen Island Park
( does that water look disgusting or what??)

Noah, Eden, Sammy and Josh in a typical pose.

Miss Mercy in all her glory

The gang at Glen Falls

Eden and Sammy. I adore this picture

Eden on a windy hot afternoon on the lake

The gang at the Navel Museum.

Josh and Mercy on a sugar high after ice cream

Mercy and Eden by the lake

Mercy missed the group shot being a punk in the stroller.

Sammy loving the waterfront

Finally, all the brats together!

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

It has to start some time,right?

So today was the first day of my "new life". As of today I have all my children in school. This has never happened to me before. And for the record, I am not liking it. Not one bit. I know many moms out there are excited as hell today. Not me. I always hated the start of school. I love the easy days of summer. I love having my kids with me. They are so unique and so smart and they really are fabulous company. They make me laugh and smile and..they just make me happy. Letting them go out in the world for 8 hrs at a time is hard for me.

So today I got them up and ready for the new school year. This year I have a Junior in high school, a 6th grader and kindergatener. Oh Sammy. Sending him to school filled me with anxiety. He is a very odd and particular little man. He is not as adaptable as my other kids.

In the morning, Sammy started out cranky. He found it hard to fall asleep the night before. He was up until 11, eating crackers and taking about Monsters Inc. He has a unique speak pattern, that can drive you crazy after a few minutes. I say " Sammy, come on outside so we can wait for the bus"

"WHAT?? You want me to go outside this early in the morning!?!?"

and so it goes.
"WHAT??? You want me to carry my own lunch box?!?!?"

"WHAT??? You want me to stay in school the whole day?!?!?"

And then I did I silent prayer for the teacher. and him. and me.

So they get on the bus and off for the day.

Please ignore my front porch, which needs re-staining. I am getting to it.

So they did well. I think.

the mom was a different story.

However, everyone must know I am having a hard time this year. I ended up getting quite a few phone calls from my friends and family and before I knew it, it was time to get into the shower and meet Adam for lunch. That is something I have never had the chance to do and it was nice. Weird, but in a good way. I ran some errands and got home in time to see my high schooler off the bus.

I told him I missed him. He told me he was sorry but he was too busy "being punk and a Junior" nice. real nice.

Then the time came for Josh and Sammy to come home, so Zach and I headed out to meet the bus. And, did not go well. The report from one of Sammy's classmate is the Sammy cried all day because as he puts it "that bus to take me home was taking a LONG time to get there"

We snuggled and talked about his day. It was long for him. It will be an adjustment. He giggled in my bed, nuzzling me and said he loved how I smelled. Such a nutjob. Ah, but he is my nutjob. And I wouldn't have it any other way.


Is it summer vacation again yet??