Saturday, June 21, 2008

Messing with his Seoul

I will fully admit it...I mess with my kids. ALL. THE. TIME.

I think you should keep them guessing. I think they need to be prepared that their loving mother will suddenly yell their name at the top of her lungs while we are quietly watching tv, just "cuz" or that I will wait, ever so patiently, outside the bathroom door, just to be able to yell and jump out at them the second that door swings open.

I call it love.

And no one is easier to mess with...errr, sorry "love" than Joshua. Man, that kid is easy bait. And I know he is the middle kid and those poor middle kids have it tough, but DAMN! It is so easy and so much fun.

The other night, snuggling on the couch with Josh was the perfect opportunity.

"Josh, honey, I need to tell you something" I get that serious mom voice, which I must say I NEVER use, and maybe that is the problem. When I use the "mom" voice, they KNOW I am messing around. But I hold it together. I look him right in the eye and take a deep breath.

"Josh, sweetheart. You....you....( insert dramatic sigh)...you are adopted"

"MOM! I know I am not adopted" I assure him, yes, he is. He offers proof that I am mother, among the facts he presented was that I was 23 when I had him and "who gives a baby to a 23 year old to raise?". I tell him it was my maturity that tipped the scales, and gave me little baby Josh.

I tell him he should be glad, I picked him out of all the babies at the orphanage. He was the cutest. (honestly, he was my cutest baby. Pictures of him at about a year old make me still all mushy and giggly inside)

"Honey, we went to great pains to make sure we hid it. I am so sorry and...( another dramatic sigh and pause...maybe a fake tear in my eye) there is more, honey"

At this point Josh is flipping between semi-shock and annoyance.

"Josh, baby...you are really Korean"

"MOM. I KNOW I AM NOT KOREAN. Good God!"

He storms into our room and tells Adam what I told him.

Adam, in a VERY well played move, says "yes, Josh. We are sorry. Just watch an episode of M*A*S*H. If you tear up at all, you will know what we are saying is true"

"Nice, mom. Not only are you INSANE, now you are dragging dad into this crap"

"awww, Josh don't be mad at me. I am taking a Korean language class so I can finally talk to you and you will understand me"

"mom, I doubt that is EVER gonna happen cuz you are CRAZY! I will never understand you"

next I heard Zach talking to him in some "Asian" sounding language and following it with "You know what I mean, Josh??" and I was again proud. The torture is so much better when you have a group.

Rest assured, I will make Josh feel at home. I found a recipe for Korean kimchi. I might make that for him for dinner. I told him he has to embrace is culture and get back to his roots. It is only right.

Right??

6 comments:

Jennifer said...

OMG LOL You are so evil, but so hilarious.

Kelsey said...

Oh my gosh too funny

Connie said...

That is great!

robin bird said...

oh you are outrageous! i don't know how you get away with it and are still able to apply for future adoption rights in china. cruelty to middle schoolers!

myfrogprince said...

funny story!

Robin L said...

LMAO! Thats tooo funny! Josh you can come live with me and I promise Id never do nuttin like that